Being Present in Your Own Absence

Society places a lot of pressure on us and it can be seen in nearly everything we interact with from social media, constant ad pop-ups, and even in the grocery store check-out line. There are so many ideas and so much information that can easily overwhelm us; things like how we should look, what we should buy, how we should shop etc.. It is enough to drive any one over the edge and what’s happening is that we are subconsciously storing all of that information and using it later against ourselves for not doing those things or being that way. It can take a huge toll on our mental health if we are not mindful.

What I really enjoy about this generation is that we put a lot of emphasis on our caring for our mental health. I’m speaking as a late 80’s baby whose childhood was not exposed to computers until late elementary school. We knew what it was like before and I think we try to have the balance between a simple life and this new busy life. Truth is, we can’t exactly escape it, but we can definitely learn to manage it. The power truly lies with how much you know about yourself and how much we are walking in our own truth.


How do we escape the pressure?


A separation must occur from what is causing you frustration or overwhelm so you can objectively look at all sides. Some questions to considerate listed down below. I recommend journaling this - it's the best way to get it out of your mind.


Why is this causing me to feel this way?

How do I want to show up for myself?

What is working?

What isn't working?

How do I want to feel?

What brings me joy?

Who do I want to be?


We are dependent on our personal alignment. Often, we are focusing on so many other people that we are not looking at what we need or what fulfills us. This is the power of discovery. You will then uncover how it is to achieve the answers to these questions.


We are ultimately the drivers of our actions, happiness and turmoil - always in control of how we can react. We can veer off the road and stop to ask directions, but ultimately, we have to get us where we need to go.


Slow down


When I say "Being present in your own absence" what I am meaning is separating yourself from everything and getting quiet with yourself. Be absent from all distractions, worry, fears and overwhelm. The world is full of busy people, loud noises and constant movement. Slow down and be present with yourself - absent from everything. You may be exhausted, cranky, moody and uncomfortable but those are the moments where you need it the most.

Meditation is the way to go about achieving clarity from within yourself. You need to slow down and digest what all you've been experiencing and determine if you have missed any signs during your hustle and bustle. It can be challenging to start, my recommendation find comfy spot and go on YouTube to find some guided meditations. If you are super new, I recommend Iris Dailey because she has a 30 day beginning guide to meditation, they are fairly short and her voice is super soothing. You can find the playlist here.


Your mind is supposed to wander - it is our job to figure out the messages within the things that come to our mind. I tend to put those thoughts in a mental box to review once I'm done focusing on the meditation. The key is to focus on the meditation - that is being present. I then journal what came up and my realizations as I'm writing. "this could be because..." or "Oh maybe I can/should do ..." whatever it is, I just continue writing what comes into my mind. If something has be struggling for words - I will draw or doodle what it is that I saw. Sometimes you can find messages that way.


The take-away


In order to achieve what we want, we have to look at what we once were and currently are. We really have to digest and sort through anything that comes up. If what you are coming up with is pretty heavy, I encourage working with a therapist as well because we aren't meant to do everything on our own. It's important to have a support system as you navigate, explore and heal in order to blossom and grow into what you are meant to be. We all have a purpose here, and so many people get caught up in being someone else that they lose touch with who they are and why they are here. It's like we're running through life with a compass that isn't pointing due North. We get a little crazy inside and we need to let it out in a healthy way so we can recalibrate our compass and find our calm corner.


It's important to start incorporating meditation and journaling into your every day routine to ensure that you'll be able to manage things that comes up. And please know, it's absolutely OK to step away in order to get yourself back on track. Reach out if you have feelings that you're unsure you can manage yourself - there are people that love you and support you and trained professionals that are able to assist.


All my love.


If you have any feedback at all - I would love to hear down below.